Aderonke Adeyeye's Blog

My Gangsta Mom "How dare you come and threaten my son in his father's house? Weren't you raised better? Who the hell are you to come to MY house and threaten to harm MY SON in my presence?  Were wo lo gun iyan fun yin to ni ke ma worry obe?" my mother's voice thundered and threatened to bring down my late father's roof. Hiding behind my mother, I stole a quick glance at my assailants; three hefty men who looked like they lived in the gym for a living.  Even with their bulging muscles and packs, I could see them half cowering in my mother's presence. Trust me, if you were here, you would be scared shitless of my mother right now. Who wouldn't? My mother is a renowned tout, one whose hobbies were breaking bottles and beating people up. You'd think that getting married to a barrister would soften her and make her act like a lady should; na, that's not my mother. My late father's position and status in the society made it easie...

A STRANGER'S HEART The empty store, scattered kitchen, clean pots, and unused chipped plates; all indications of the lack of food in the house. The broken Louvres, unwashed curtain, torn mosquito net and broken wall; were a constant reminder of the dilapidated state of our home. Father's incessant coughs and spit, Mother's torn wrapper, Happiness' unhappy face, her ribs you could count beneath her ripped blouse, breaks my heart every single time. The setting was the same every day, every single day since father was retrenched from his work place, with no gratuity or pension. And since his early and unpaid displacement from work, it felt like a switch was turned off in father's life. Father, who was very agile and hardworking, became one of those men who sat in one place for hours doing nothing. On days he is not sitting on his cane chair outside the house, coughing and spitting, he is under the tree playing 'Ayo' with some other jobless men ...

Let's call a spade a spade. Let's call a spade or spade! Or what else should we call a spade, if not what it is, a fucking spade. How can you look at a spade, and call it something else, rather than what it is... A spade. Does it look like a cutlass, a hoe, a rake or a shear? Is it the heart, the club, or the diamond in a deck of card? Of course not!!! It is what it is... A spade. So why don't we just call it what it is? Why do we want to call it something else? Why do we stress ourselves and bother about calling the spade another thing, when it has an identity already. It is what it is. It is what it should be. It is a spade. And let's call it what it is a spade. The next time someone says "let's call a spade a spade," tell them "Yeah right, we gon call it what it is just right.... A spade." ©Aderonke Adeyeye

LOVE IN THE DAYS OF DANFO. "What do you see in that ruffian of a guy, sef?" ife asked, as they walked down the road to board  a bus going to Maryland. They were going to the Maryland mall to see the new Living In Bondage movie. "I seriously don't understand why she loves him that much. Not with him being a tout, with the dreads, tattoos and what not. How do you even kiss him with all that beards looking so shabby?" Sharon chipped in, as she took selfies of them while they walked. " It's my relationship now. Why are you both bothered about it though? I love him and he loves me and that's what matters. " Stephanie shrugged as she rolled her eyes at her friends' half-assed concern. She knew them too well and knew that their concerns were not truthful. They were just being silly and hypocritical about things. She knew they didn't like her boo, Wasiu; they have been on about how rough he looks and all since they started dat...

MAMA EJIMA. Chiamaka stood to answer the door bell.  It had better be who she was expecting. Her guest should be here by now,  she had called from the airport thirty minutes ago. Amaka looked through the peephole and quickly unlocked the door,  her facing brightening at the sight of her guest. The door opened, revealing an old woman in top and wrapper, and a big jacket on the top. She was shivering uncontrollably. "Mama eeeeee" Chiamaka screamed and hugged her mother tight.  Now everything was going to fall into place. She had been worried on  how to cope with her new child as her mother in law was late and her own mother had told her she won't be able to come for the omugwo,  because Amaka's twin sister had given birth few days after Amaka. Mama Ejima,  her mother had claimed she would rather stay and do omugwo for Chidiebere,  than come to freeze to death in Amelica..  That's her mother's way of calling America. Imagine her jo...

Spawns of Beelzebub "Does this gorgeous woman by any chance have a name?" She looked at him through her long lashes as she smiled seductively. "Mystery" She responded, taking a sip of her martini. "Hmmmm, Mystery! That sounds mysterious." He burst into laughter at his joke.  He knew he was trying too hard to get her attention. "I figure you work with Hillgates Group of Companies," She asked, pointing at the tag on his chest while staring at him intently. "Yes, I do... " He affirmed and then  proceeded to tell her about himself, his job, and family. He even slipped his relationship status into his narrative. There was something about this woman that loosened his tongue, and made him wanna bare his spirit and soul to this mysteriously beautiful stranger. "That's cool. That means you should know the men who swindled OptroTech? " That set an alarm ticking off in his head. His face clouded momentarily for a...