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Showing posts from September, 2020

A SPEC!!!

  There was a time i didn't believe i was a SPEC, not to talk of being anyone's SPEC. I am not talking about a decade ago or a century ago, i am talking about a couple of years ago. Oh boy! I had a badass inferiority complex. I never believed i had the looks to score the tush and big boys, so I don't even think about them. Rather i settled for crumbs. Yes, there are men who are crumbs. Crumb men are men who are at the lower part of the men chain. The bottom feeder. The no vision men. The disrespectful men. The noncommittal men. The "All i have to offer is my preeq" men. Any man who is not what a man should be is a "crumb man", and these were the types of men i went for. And sensing that i had inferiority complex and a low self esteem, they offered me "crumbs" too. And i gobbled them like a hungry bird. It went on like this for a very long time. When i say a very long time, it was a very long time. But i snapped out of my misery one particular p

This Thing Called Love...

The thing with love is that it creeps in like a thief in the night,  it catches you unawares, taking a huge tight grip on the entirety of your existence.   One minute, you are sane, sensible  and normal like the rest of the  world, the next you are wrapped in a cocoon of emotions only your heart can explain.   She is the first recipient of these feelings, and she doesn't hesitate to transfer it to all other parts of the body,  not giving a hoot if they want to be a part of it or not.  Yes I did complain of loneliness and I told  you I missed you. Those chilly nights that caught up with my lonely  soul made me miss you and want you more.  I ached for  your voice and your touch but just like your presence,  they were nowhere to be found.  Though I had fears that the distance and the lack of communication could cripple, maim and  kill our young  love, but I kept praying  that ours would stand the test of time and win... I told you about the boy next door.  I told you how he often chec

LOVE GOES BEYOND....

  Love goes beyond the mushy mushy tingling feeling, Chocolates, Malls and Bedroom.  Love is Safety : How safe do they make you feel financially, physically and psychologically?  Love is encompassing: "Do you feel loved only when you're with them or only when you talk to them? Does the feeling extend after you communicate or it is shortlived? Love is peace: How peaceful does their existence make your life? Do you feel your life is good without them in it or your life is bliss with them in it?  Love is mutual: How do they reciprocate what you give to them? How much do they show that you are both on the same page?  Love is considerate: How considerate are they about things?  Do they factor you in their everyday lives?  Do you matter in their everyday lives? Love is consistent: How consistent is their attention and affection? Do they depict the 'Abiku' tendencies or they are always there, steady,  constant? Love is growth : Do they add to your growth and development in an

Waning Sun

  Like a waning evening sun, I watch you creep back into your shell, Dimming your light and pulling together your curtains like an evening show just ended. But there was no round of applause from you  No rising ovation  Or vote of thanks.  Because it's just you and prolly I (who is hiding outside the door)  Waiting for you to gift me a glance,  Just a little turn of your head would have revealed me to you And maybe you'd find in my eyes, my obsessive love for you.  And just like it is always been, you don't see me  crushing on you,  You don't notice me noticing you all day, all night  You don't notice me preparing my gun to shoot my shot at you.  And just like a waning evening sun, you wrap it up like an evening show,  Your face bereft of its usual glow and radiance,  No shadow of smile tracing your lips,  Your blue angelic eyes looking like they have set gaze on better things,  Slowly, you fade into yourself,  Covering up your heart like a tortoise shell,  Building