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A SPEC!!!

 

There was a time i didn't believe i was a SPEC, not to talk of being anyone's SPEC. I am not talking about a decade ago or a century ago, i am talking about a couple of years ago.


Oh boy! I had a badass inferiority complex. I never believed i had the looks to score the tush and big boys, so I don't even think about them.


Rather i settled for crumbs. Yes, there are men who are crumbs. Crumb men are men who are at the lower part of the men chain.


The bottom feeder.

The no vision men.

The disrespectful men.

The noncommittal men.

The "All i have to offer is my preeq" men.


Any man who is not what a man should be is a "crumb man", and these were the types of men i went for.


And sensing that i had inferiority complex and a low self esteem, they offered me "crumbs" too. And i gobbled them like a hungry bird.


It went on like this for a very long time. When i say a very long time, it was a very long time.


But i snapped out of my misery one particular period when i started seeing myself in a different light. I would take pictures and stare at my gorgeous self again and again.


And I'd say to myself "Dearest Enitan, truth be told, you're a beautiful one." 


As i did this continually, it became a mantra. I started taking care of myself the best way i could. Buy cheap but good clothes, combine them well, use good makeup, learn how to apply them well etc. 


I got on the journey to enhancing my new found knowledge... I am a Modafucking SPEC!!! 


It wasn't easy but i got there.


My orientation changed.

My charisma shone like the moon in the dark.

My confidence and self esteem skyrocketed.. Their actual fada!!

My carriage, posture, and composure wore 100 shoulder pads.

Most importantly, my taste in men changed (as should be)


I stopped entertaining half a man and went for the men in the top tier.


No man was too good for me (the only reason a man can shenk me now is maybe because of money, and i am getting there soon!) 


I saw myself in a different light and it changed everything for me. 


Me seeing myself as a full spec didn't start overnight. It started from my changing my phone (Trust me, some phone's camera are enemies of progress too!! 😂) 


And this is one of the reasons i make sure i buy phones with good Camera (i don't mean filters and all oooo. I mean good natural picture quality). 


After that, i worked on looking better. My hair, my nails, my skin (omg! I don't joke with my skin. If you know me you'd know i can spend all my money on good beauty products), and my outfits. 


I didn't spend money on designer clothes and shoes ooo, but if i knack my akube bend down wears for you, walahi you go fo!! 


And that was how Aderonke got her groove.. 


You also can be a full spec and stop being a dumping place for crumbs men. 


And it starts from knowing that you are a full meal!!! 




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