The Man of God.

It all started when he said, scratch that, when he ordered that the single ladies in church should come with pictures of men they want as husbands, so that he can pray about them.

Considering that some of us were unmarried and were not dating at that time, a lot of ladies were really happy about this development and they quickly obliged.

Except for Kewe and I.

Standing in front of the church gate after we finished the single ladies' forum where he made the decree, while we waited for Deji to come pick us, Kewe shook her head again and again before muttering :

"This doesn't sound right."

"What doesn't sound right?" I asked, completely out of touch with her conversation, my mind was on more pressing matters like Deji's preeq. I just finished my period and I couldn't wait to have him in me.

Deji wasn't my boyfriend boyfriend per se. Actually Deji was a married man with three beautiful kids.

Before you judge or castigate me, let's finish this story first.

Back to Kewe and what she felt was not right.

"I mean the man of God asking, no, ordering us to bring pictures of men we wish to marry doesn't go down well with me. "

I looked at Kewe for a while before looking around the church premises for any eavesdropper.

Satisfied that we were out of listening reach,  I cleared my throat and dropped my voice to the tiniest whisper.

"I thought so too, but what can we do. He is our man of God. "

"Man of God indeed! " Kewe spat out angrily,  disdain written all over her face.

"Kewe!!!!" I chided her before she could blaspheme any further.

 Not like I didn't understand her anger and disdain, I kukuma do but the fear of thunder is the beginning of wisdom.

I don't want to be stricken by thunder because I was talking nonsense about a man of God, most especially in front of the house of God.

There are rumors that our Man of God is a Man of Flesh, that he engages in series of atrocities ranging from adultery to occultism and the rest.

 Kewe rolled her eyes and hissed again, clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth for emphasis.

I laughed so hard at her gesture. You want to know why? I'd tell you.

Kewe is a very good actress by the way. I knew all she was doing was for the public, was for me to believe that she hates the Man of God, when in truth she was being serviced by the man both financially and dickally.

I laughed again,  feigning ignorance of her shady shit with the Man of God. I spoke after a few seconds.

"But since he said it is an order from the spirit, let's carry it out. Who knows we could get our husbands from this spiritual activity. "

"Hmmmmmm.  Rubbish." That was all Kewe said as we sighted Deji's Pencil light Camry car afar. My heart was giddy already, my pussy getting wet over and over.

You can't blame me for all these things oooooo.  What can a girl do when all the single boys out there are players and cheats.

"Hi ladies, hope I didn't keep you waiting for too long." My Prince Charming asked as he brought the car to a halt in front of us.

"No baby" I cooed as I walked over to him and entered the car, with Kewe behind me.

Deji drove first to an eatery where we got lunch before we dropped Kewe at her house and headed for my apartment.

Deji tore my clothes as we got into the house, his hands running all over my body.  I guess he was as hungry as I was for him.

We fucked some in the living room and ended in the bedroom. When it was over, He begged to sleep over but I declined.

I still have the fear of God in me. I still fear thunder.

I sent him on his way and logged in to my Facebook. I thought about the picture   prayer thing and decided to try me luck.

Randomly going through the "People you may know" list, I picked 3 cute single men and added Deji to the list. Saved the three men's pictures, and sent to Enitan to print for me.  I already had Deji's own.

The day for the prayer meeting came and I was ready to pick my future husband. Arming myself with their pictures, I got to church and met some ladies seated already.

We exchanged pleasantries and I found my seat. Kewe walked in few minutes later and we started talking about the program.

Kewe was all shades of happy and expectant. I stared at her as I couldn't comprehend the reason for her expectancy, after what she said about the Man of God the last time.

I sha kack up and dey my dey.

Man of God came in followed by his wife, mummy G. O. We started the prayers and time came for us to present pictures.

We were told to come out and stretch forth the pictures with our eyes closed. I walked out first and stood at the altar with my eyes closed.

Then the time came for man of God to minister to us, he got to me and touched the pictures, then he started taking.

"Why did you dump this man? " he asked. 

I opened my eyes to see who he was referring to.  It was one of the random dudes from Facebook.

I smiled in my mind. 
There and there, I knew man of God was fake.

I decided to play along.

"He cheated on me sir. " I responded forming teary.

"No,  you don't do that. Thus saith the spirit of God, this one would have been your husband but you have missed it. "

I was blown away.

He touched another random guy's picture and continued.

"This could have been your husband too but you fornicated with him too much.  That's why it didn't work. "

Now,  it took all my self control not to burst into laughter, and call him a liar.

I kept calm and nodded obediently.

He picked Deji's picture next and continued,

"This one right here is your husband. God just showed me that he is in the United States of America and he is planning to come down and pay your brideprice. "

This time, I laughed out so hard. It was impossible not to. I decided I have had enough, this man was a big fraud and I was done being deceived.

I snatched the pictures from his hands and turned to leave the pulpit, scratch that,  the stage and find my way out of the playhouse.

I collided with Kewe, hitting her hands in the process, causing the pictures in her hands to fall to the ground.

I didn't want to wait to tender any apology to her but a gasp stopped me as I headed out of the church.

Another gasp followed.

Followed by a loud cry.

I went back in to see the reason for the cry and I met the shocker of my life.

Five out of the nine ladies had the man of God's pictures with them.

As in, all the pictures they held were of the man of God, including Kewe.

Mummy G.O. and the other ladies saw Kewe's pictures as they fell from her hand after our collision, this made the other ladies drop theirs in confusion.

Then the confessions started.

Man of God was shagging the five girls including Kewe.  That girl deserves an Oscar for her brilliant performance that day.

Not only was he shagging them, he also promised them marriages.

That was how our picture prayer conference turned into a disaster.

I quickly walked out of the church and hailed a taxi, as I headed home.

I texted Deji to meet me at home.  I told him there was plenty gist concerning man of God.

He sent the 😱 emoji and sent the 🏃 emoji too.

I laughed till tears came out of my eyes.

My mind just couldn't comprehend what I experienced today.

On getting home, I met Deji inside.  Yes he has a spare key.  Yes, because he paid for the apartment for me..  Duh!

He brought food and drinks already. Can you see why I love him?

Dude is everything all these shingum boys are not.

I recounted the church episode and he laughed his belly out, almost choking on his spaghetti.

We finished dinner and I drew my thing closer, and give him good fuck in the kitchen.

E jo n Tori Olorun  e fi mi le.

God dinnor call me, the person he called is even doing more than me.

Deji begged to sleep over, and I happily accepted.

I am suffering from PTSD abeg, and I need the rod to see me through the night.

I rested my head on his chest, as I closed my eyes to sleep off the drama of the day.

Tomorrow is another day.  I can't wait for Kewe's damage control speeches.

It's damn gonna be hilarious.

Good night abeg.


The End


Aderonke Enitan Adeyeye 2019