WHAT USED TO BE

"You don't get to walk out on me when I am talking to you. " Tade stormed after me, taking two steps in one stride, as he followed me down the stairs.


I ignored his noise and got down the last step, as I trudged lazily to the long sofa, I and my protruded 5 months old stomach.


I plopped down on the sofa, raising my heavy and swollen legs on the center table, while resting my aching back against the back of the sofa.

"Tinuade, are you deaf?  Or you just want to bed trouble this evening?" He thundered as he joined me in the living room.

"Tade, I am not playing deaf.  I just came to pick my phone and rest my feet. " I groaned as another wave of pain washed over my aching bones.

I know Tade and his tantrums, and I am not ready to join him in a pissing contest today,  not today.  My whole body ache. My feet.  My back. Everywhere.

I am too bothered about my health and my unborn child to worry about Tade and his first wife's wahala.

"So why didn't you answer my question in the first place? " he asked, fury and anger etched on his brow.

I looked at him and I just can't believe this was the man who promised me heaven and earth. The one who made me  break my rules of dating married men. The one who swept me off my feet and made me take his second name even when I knew he had a wife already.

The one who I was pregnant for.

I just can't believe he is the one acting like he cared less about me and the baby. Like he is not bothered about what happens to us.

Our problems started six months after our wedding. I got pregnant and everything changed after he told his first wife. Since then,  she is  always finding reasons for him to visit them at Bayelsa every other week.


There is an arrangement. He stays with me for two weeks in a month and spends the other two weeks with them.


But now she makes sure he spends three weeks with them and when he is back, it is one quarrel after the other with me.

This one we are having right now is because of what he is assuming I said to his first wife. I guess she told him a lie and he is not even asking for my  side of the story.  He is just throwing the accusations in my face like my feelings don't matter.


"Because I didn't do what you are accusing me of doing. I said nothing to no-one about Iyaale. Please let me rest,  Tade" I murmured the last part, hoping he won't hear...

But he did. And that brought the storm.


"Oh!  So I am now a disturbance in your life,  Tinuade. I should let you rest abi.  I should have known this was a total mistake from the get go. I should have known getting married to you when I had a wife and kids already was a big bad mistake. " He shouted and swore at me, as he stormed back up the stairs.


"How dare you, Tade!!! How dare you spew that Bullshit at me! I am now a mistake right.  After you promised me everything, now you are telling it to my face that I am a mistake. Tade!!!!!! " I rose up angrily in a flash, not considering the pain in my lower abdomen.

 I don't care.

Nothing mattered than what that man just flung in my face.


Coming down the stairs, Tade walked angrily to where I stood and wagged a finger at me.


"You, Tinuade are a fucking disaster!!! And I mean it!!!" with those hurtful words, he swore once again, picked his car key and left the house.


I stood with my mouth agape, tears streaming down my face while the first bout of pains went through my abdomen.


Within minutes, I was on the floor, holding my throbbing tummy, as blood trickled down my thighs to my legs.


"Tade!!!!! " I screamed in between the abdominal pains and tears.

"Tade!!!!!!!!! " I screamed harder, but there was no response from anywhere. I was the only one in the house.


I lay on my back, wishing and praying for death as my body  shuddered at the pain I was feeling in my abdomen.


Oh my baby!! Nothing should happen to my baby!  I prayed tearily as I reached for my phone on the center table.


I scrolled through my contacts and found the name I was looking for.


"Deji, come get me.  The baby.  Blood." I whisper into the phone when he answered, as my strength ebbed away by the seconds.


I figured the gate would be locked, so I wearily picked the bunch of keys from the table, and crawled out of the front door towards the gate, pool of blood trailing behind me.


But not before I took off my engagement and wedding rings and dropped them on the center table for Tade to find them when he comes.


I am done with him and the marriage.

I crawled to the gate, and opened the gate and waited for Deji to come.

I might have passed out at the gate, because the next thing I saw when I opened my eyes was an hospital room and several doctors trying to settle me in a  bed, with drips hanging from different stands above me.



I wanted to say something, to ask questions but my lips were too heavy for me to pull them apart.


I watch on in confusion and pain as words such as "baby" "died" "evacuation" filtered around the room. 

One of the doctors noticed that I was up, so he walked up to my side of the bed,  a metallic but soothing smile etched on his face.


"How are you doing, Mrs Bolade. "

I could only nod in response.

"I am so sorry but we have to evacuate your baby from your womb immediately. Your emotional breakdown and mental strain affected the child and suffocated it to death. Your husband has signed the agreement for evacuation form. Accept my condolences madam"

Tears spilled forth from my eyes as I saw Tade through the window, his eyes red and swollen from crying.


I couldn't care less if he cried blood.  I wasnt interested in the murderer who murdered my unborn child.


My heart constricted at the pain of losing  the man Tade used to be and my unborn child.

I decided there and then that I was done with him.

I was done being emotionally drained and tired.

I was done being a plaything for Tade and his wife.

I hope he caught the cue from the rings I left on the table.

The doctors commenced work on my body, as my eyes drifted off in response to the effect of the sedatives.

"I hate you. "I mouthed to him as my eyes closed in sleep.

Kabi'esi RedLipz Adeyeye 2019