Dear God, we need to talk...
Dear God....
Like bitter leaf, my heart is bitter,
Like walnuts, the ache of my life is getting tighter and harder to crack...
I am tired..
I have been tired before now,
But this, this is worse.
Worse than anything I have experienced before.
I am hurt..
I am depressed..
I cry..
I fail..
I AM TIRED.
They say "talk to God", but each time I close my eyes, tears drop from my eyes and no sound comes out of my mouth, except for wailings and sobbing.
And when I eventually summon the courage and will to talk to you, you seem far away,
And like the harmattan wind, my prayers disappear.
Dear God, We need to talk...
Tell me,
Why do I struggle, while others thrive?
Why do I languish and toil, yet nothing works?
Why do I toil like an elephant, and eat like an ant?
Why am I trying to live a just and righteous life, yet hardship and pain are my constant companions?
Why?
Is it fate, or just a cruel joke by you or your angels, or is this karma for the bad things I did in my past life?
Dear God....
I've cried out loud, like a drowning man,
But my voice is lost, in the crowd of suffering.
I've searched for peace,
But like a restless sea, my heart remains uneasy,
I've tried to put my hands to work,
But like the absence of water in the desert, I have nothing to show for my hard work.
Dear God, we need to talk...
I need to understand,
Why my life is difficult, why I must always struggle tirelessly before I can enjoy one good thing of life.
Is it a test, or just a cruel hand that have been dealt me by my village people or by me myself?
Dear God, we need to talk,
I have questions that I need answers to.
When will things get better?
When will I start enjoying my life?
When will I see my younger siblings calls and messages, and I don't get scared that it's Billings coming?
When will life be fair to me?
When will I be able enjoy the good things of life?
When will I start to enjoy the fruit of my labors?
Dear God,
My heart is heavy, my soul is weak,
I need answers, a reason to carry on,
A reassurance that I'm not alone, that everything will be alright.
Dear God, answer me, because we need to talk.
Aderonke Adeyeye 2025.

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