Aderonke Adeyeye's Blog

"Are you sure you are ready?", my father asked in a calm voice but I could detect the pain and concern underlying those words. In as much we have all been preparing for this day, it's here, and we look like we don't know what foot to put forward first. "If you are not ready, we could postpone it and..." my mother's sweet voiced mirrored my father's concern. "No, it's fine. I am ready. I think I am ready..." I replied to calm their fears while I was trying to stop my heart from exploding in my chest. I had been preparing for my first day out of the house, which coincided with my first day at school too. Truth be told, I didn't want to leave the comfort of my parents' warm embrace to go face whatever life was ready to throw at me. I almost told my parents to call the school and postpone my resumption, but thinking twice about it, I figured that there was no point. I would one day face it all, and I could as well ...

18+ PG18 I got off my dispatch bike in a hurry, almost tripping in a bid to jump off. According to my watch, I was 20 minutes behind schedule for the pickup I wanted to do for the new client. I stood in front of the house for a minute, then checked my phone again to make sure I got the address. It was it. 45, Damon Cross Avenue. I walked briskly up the stairs praying that my client don't get pissed with me. Standing gingerly in front of the front door, I took in few seconds to calm my nerves and steady my heart beats before pressing the bell. "I am coming...", a sweet voice answered from inside before the bell stopped ringing. I heard the door unlock from inside, and it opened to reveal a middle aged beautiful woman on low cut, with nice blue shinning eyes and a sweet smile on her face. "Good morning ma"  I greeted cheerily. "Good morning young man. How may I help you." she inquired in a soothing voice. "I am Tope Ade...

DREADED LOCKS Cheryl stepped on the gas and whisked us off Calorian Avenue in a flash, before we got caught up with the traffic that was building  right on Elgin Street. One minute less, and we would be neck deep in a traffic jam that could go on for hours. Trombone watched her closely as she breathed hard and fast, her nose flaring furiously and jaws clenched tightly. Her fingers turning white as she gripped the steering firmly. Trombone knew that look. It was one she or anyone who knew Cheryl well, would not wanna mess with. With this mood, Cheryl was a beast. This is not your comic book beast, but a real life beast who can destroy anything in her path in the twinkle of an eye. Imagine a quiet chocolate skinned nerd with dreadlocks, who works on her computer all day, drinking only black coffee;  who stays up all night watching The Walking Dead and How To Get Away With Murder... There you have it, that's who Cheryl is. "Why did you do it?" Trombone asked. ...

The Road To Umokoro: A Tale Of Damian And Ngozi. "Aunty, please move your bag now. I have been complaining about it since we boarded this bus. You know this space is tight as it is, yet you are now making things worse by stuffing all your things here. What happened to the boot for God's sakes? Some humans sha"  Damian swore in anger as he tried to adjust his left leg against the mountain of baggage that this troublesome woman had stored against his leg. If the reason he was traveling home wasn't annoying enough, the fact that he had foolishly decided against driving his car home was another reason his blood was boiling. If only he had driven his car, he won't have to be stuck in an uncomfortable sitting position with this demon of a woman who is doing everything possible to frustrate his trip. If the devil was human, he'd surely be in this woman's form. "For a man, you're just too troublesome and annoying. For God's sakes, how ...

My Gangsta Mom "How dare you come and threaten my son in his father's house? Weren't you raised better? Who the hell are you to come to MY house and threaten to harm MY SON in my presence?  Were wo lo gun iyan fun yin to ni ke ma worry obe?" my mother's voice thundered and threatened to bring down my late father's roof. Hiding behind my mother, I stole a quick glance at my assailants; three hefty men who looked like they lived in the gym for a living.  Even with their bulging muscles and packs, I could see them half cowering in my mother's presence. Trust me, if you were here, you would be scared shitless of my mother right now. Who wouldn't? My mother is a renowned tout, one whose hobbies were breaking bottles and beating people up. You'd think that getting married to a barrister would soften her and make her act like a lady should; na, that's not my mother. My late father's position and status in the society made it easie...

A STRANGER'S HEART The empty store, scattered kitchen, clean pots, and unused chipped plates; all indications of the lack of food in the house. The broken Louvres, unwashed curtain, torn mosquito net and broken wall; were a constant reminder of the dilapidated state of our home. Father's incessant coughs and spit, Mother's torn wrapper, Happiness' unhappy face, her ribs you could count beneath her ripped blouse, breaks my heart every single time. The setting was the same every day, every single day since father was retrenched from his work place, with no gratuity or pension. And since his early and unpaid displacement from work, it felt like a switch was turned off in father's life. Father, who was very agile and hardworking, became one of those men who sat in one place for hours doing nothing. On days he is not sitting on his cane chair outside the house, coughing and spitting, he is under the tree playing 'Ayo' with some other jobless men ...

Let's call a spade a spade. Let's call a spade or spade! Or what else should we call a spade, if not what it is, a fucking spade. How can you look at a spade, and call it something else, rather than what it is... A spade. Does it look like a cutlass, a hoe, a rake or a shear? Is it the heart, the club, or the diamond in a deck of card? Of course not!!! It is what it is... A spade. So why don't we just call it what it is? Why do we want to call it something else? Why do we stress ourselves and bother about calling the spade another thing, when it has an identity already. It is what it is. It is what it should be. It is a spade. And let's call it what it is a spade. The next time someone says "let's call a spade a spade," tell them "Yeah right, we gon call it what it is just right.... A spade." ©Aderonke Adeyeye

LOVE IN THE DAYS OF DANFO. "What do you see in that ruffian of a guy, sef?" ife asked, as they walked down the road to board  a bus going to Maryland. They were going to the Maryland mall to see the new Living In Bondage movie. "I seriously don't understand why she loves him that much. Not with him being a tout, with the dreads, tattoos and what not. How do you even kiss him with all that beards looking so shabby?" Sharon chipped in, as she took selfies of them while they walked. " It's my relationship now. Why are you both bothered about it though? I love him and he loves me and that's what matters. " Stephanie shrugged as she rolled her eyes at her friends' half-assed concern. She knew them too well and knew that their concerns were not truthful. They were just being silly and hypocritical about things. She knew they didn't like her boo, Wasiu; they have been on about how rough he looks and all since they started dat...

MAMA EJIMA. Chiamaka stood to answer the door bell.  It had better be who she was expecting. Her guest should be here by now,  she had called from the airport thirty minutes ago. Amaka looked through the peephole and quickly unlocked the door,  her facing brightening at the sight of her guest. The door opened, revealing an old woman in top and wrapper, and a big jacket on the top. She was shivering uncontrollably. "Mama eeeeee" Chiamaka screamed and hugged her mother tight.  Now everything was going to fall into place. She had been worried on  how to cope with her new child as her mother in law was late and her own mother had told her she won't be able to come for the omugwo,  because Amaka's twin sister had given birth few days after Amaka. Mama Ejima,  her mother had claimed she would rather stay and do omugwo for Chidiebere,  than come to freeze to death in Amelica..  That's her mother's way of calling America. Imagine her jo...

Spawns of Beelzebub "Does this gorgeous woman by any chance have a name?" She looked at him through her long lashes as she smiled seductively. "Mystery" She responded, taking a sip of her martini. "Hmmmm, Mystery! That sounds mysterious." He burst into laughter at his joke.  He knew he was trying too hard to get her attention. "I figure you work with Hillgates Group of Companies," She asked, pointing at the tag on his chest while staring at him intently. "Yes, I do... " He affirmed and then  proceeded to tell her about himself, his job, and family. He even slipped his relationship status into his narrative. There was something about this woman that loosened his tongue, and made him wanna bare his spirit and soul to this mysteriously beautiful stranger. "That's cool. That means you should know the men who swindled OptroTech? " That set an alarm ticking off in his head. His face clouded momentarily for a...